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Black female in need of a friend. remember ladies I would like to offer some food for thought, maybe it's not such a good idea to meet a woman for sex whom you've never met. I would caution you that somebody who is so openly careless with their body could cause some serious health problems. More then likely a woman or girl who would post something like that is a lady of the night or on the rebound. I don't think the majority of the women who post here (or men, they post here too remember, usually the ads that insist for pics are) go through with it but to those who seriously consider it, think x times! I don't think that that's worth x minutes of pleasure. I deleted my previous post and debated if I should say something else. I feel like If I say something it should put a different spin then all is doomed. There are good things about Sacramento, but making friends and dating online here is very difficult. I don't recommend it especially if your sensitive. This isn't a city where the majority of the people network and settle down unless they are families working for the government. So, this leads to alot of isolated pockets of women forming small groups, but it never manifesting into an overall vibrant lesbian scene. I don't think even if there was a "scene" that that would make most women happier. It would just be more, but not better. Why do I say that? It's just the general set-up of Sacramento. There isn't much variety, not compared to a place like LA or any of the other major cities because it's more of a touristy place. It appears that it's cool from the outside, but once you get here and see what needs to be seen in a month it gets old. The "cool" things/people about Sacramento get exported and are few and far between. Sacramento doesn't have that metro feel and it's more of a take off spot then somewhere you land. It's great when you make a friend or xxx to a certain degree but I would say keep your options open. If you can't find your comfort zone here don't get too hung up on yourself because there are alot of women who aren't happy here you just don't see them. In the previous posters response she tries to blame things on poverty and obesity but if you get to the heart of the matter, I would almost argue that alot of women you meet are not actually lesbian. I liken this to saying "I am a woman who likes yellow", so does that make me a yellower? What does that say about me, that I like yellow and that's it. I really questions if this whole thing should be given it's own catagory, other then that most women are comfortable around other women. And I notice comparing the north american women other non-european cultures, real 420 friend with benefits married women Columbus there is a dire lacking of female bonding. Most women see other women as competition not friends and they base their friendship on resources and convience not on a genuine liking of the other woman. We rarely touch each other outside of our families. So I guess when it happens it such a big shock to our system you want to give it a name, and be defined by it. Does that need a "lesbian" label? When I think back to the women I dated, almost all of them have dated men and all of them have been or will be attracted to men if they met the "right" xxx All of them had hangups and issues, each and every xxx of them that the average person looking in wouldn't know anything about. Their rules would go out the window when the mood strikes. I even met butch women who have sex with men, and who strap men, and if you ask them what's that about they will say they are queer. Queer indeed! I don't mind now, I don't take labels as serious as I did when I was young. Most people have their own definition of words anyways and I would be arguing all day if I ed out every hypocrite or questionable action. Maybe some of our problems stem from the fact that we want to label people and put them into boxes but rarely do they fit in those boxes and it makes us uncomfortable. We get disappointed and let-down because what we think and want a woman to be and what "is" is often very very different from each other. I know how much work now that takes so I know it's either I can afford to take a chance, or if not I don't. No harm, no foul. What I see are in general x types of women in most lesbian relationships I see. Those who are controlled and those doing the controlling. think that there are shy, sensitive, vulnerable women who just want to be appreciated and encouraged who fall into the trap of thinking if they saw things other people's way, they will be able to be at peace. Then there are those who don't identify with being sensitive, very left brain and confident but insecure (go figure) but want to have the previous type around them because x . They can feed off their energy and x . They can't pull the same shit, and don't want to from someone as cruel and cold as they are. So there is alot of confusion and disillusionment going on from incompatible people trying to fit together. Who is right and who is wrong? They are both wrong! If only we could see the error in our ways and move forward and just respect our differences, set the boundaries up and do things that make us feel good. Sure it can be more complicated than that but I'm saying in general. There is always xxx is ends up feeling really guilty that they want to get out of the relationship. She feels like she discovered who she was really dating, and wanted no part in it, but she feels like the other can't take her leaving. Yet if she stays, she feels like she's dying inside.They became each others worlds, each other only friends, sharing secrets and making promises that would be broken. They both want so badly to feel like the other person fills them up, but what happens is that the person needs that part that they give away for themselves, because they have little to begin with. When the newness wears off and they ask each deeper questions they start to get disenchanted, or maybe just x of them does. Then it becomes, well you know all this about me, and we slept together now your leaving??? And that's when you wish you had took things slower, or not did anything at all. My positive suggestion is if your having problems with romantic relationships, or anything you should step away from it and give it a break. Meeting women on a personal level is heavy business, think about what it's like asking a stranger their most intimate details. Your opening up a can of worms, and if you don't stick around you will be yet another person they failed to connect with.I take that as a big responsibility so I no longer approach it lightly. I can see why some women just stick to drinking in bars as a way to occupy their time. Take a walk in old Sacramento or have breakfast at the Tower cafe solo. Look at the food you eat. When I eat alot of wheat and sugar I am more likely to get emotional and even go into a depression from being drained by my own mind. If I stay in the same spot to long I along get tired and depressed, so I have to get up and move. If I decide to worry about what could happen and what did happen, I don't live in the now. When I get around negative, argumentitive people who are usually women, horny women Sioux City looking for sex I cannot hear my own thoughts or relax and not feel like I am on the defense and feel horrible. When I am waiting for a response to an email, and I don't get it, it makes me question if it's even healthly for me to reach out to people who have little accountability to me and are looking for keywords to respond to. I really try to seperate my emotions from what is really happening so that I'm not always in a state of feeling attacked or attacking. Even when I listen to talk shows I find that inviting other people's problems into my life seems to waste my time. Even writing about it here, at this point, seems unhelpful. Who is reading this and am I helping them? Is this solving anything? So............... what to do? I think you have to find out what makes you happy OUTSIDE of relationships you have with others. I'm not saying it the condescending way some self-help books say it I mean honestly look at your situation, and others. I don't suggest joining a group of any kind. Just learn how to enjoy yourself and you'll have alot more good days. There is so much stress on most people's minds, if you have some calm time all they can do is complain to you about it. That's not fun, or productive. I think of it as building yourself up so that when you meet others who have done the same, you can spend more time having fun then holding each other down. That's where I am at right now. singledad01 on okhookup Wife want sex asian
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